B.O.A.T.S: THE 10 PROBLEMS of THE 20 SOMETHING

HEY..

So this post is going to end up pretty hilarious but its in every inch real.

the age of twenty-something is super brutal, if you are still in the pre or early twenty-something, you are in the safe years be sure to enjoy it.

Just a few years back i was sitting at the quadrangle in my university, waiting for my final jury (defense) just to say goodbye to the university, and then BAM!!! Four years later and i'm stuck at the corner of an office in an ugly vintage dress that i really only like because of its easiness to put on, wearing bathroom slippers and looking forward to Friday so that i can update my BBM status to TGIF and spend the weekend doing the little i can do to pretend i have a life, that is, if i don't sleep or lazy through the weekend.
i wonder how i managed not to realize that the days of club parties, wearing awareness tee shirts and lack of responsibilities were coming to an end.
let me break it down for you; the non-perks of being 20-something:

• DO IT YOURSELF: this is the point where you realise noone cares. School final clearance, Nysc, Feeding, clothing..if possible shelter. do it yourself. i wouldn't be surprised if DIY started from a twenty something who was left with the responsibility to do everything themselves. even visiting the hospitals when you are ill because a DIY task. all the perks of being a child becomes something of the past.

• GETTING A JOB: It really isn't just the getting the job part, its the staying in the job no matter what and gradually turning it into a career. i know a lot of people say its easier for females but if you are a female in your mid twenty-something, then you gradually if you haven't always start to think like a man. i remember when all that really mattered were my assignment and chores...well look at me now.

• DATING: If you are one of the lucky ones who met and dated the right guy and don't have to bother about this, i'm really happy for you and i truly hope that you aren't spending your time reminding your single friends that they are in fact single. parents go from not caring if you are dating anyone to asking you to bring a guy home once you are twenty something. We 20-something are pressured with the stress of not falling for the wrong guy and finding the right one that would in 6 months to 2 years be brave enough to pop the question.

• LEARN MORE: when you finally get a job or start dating someone, the pressure to be better arises; to get a better job, degree or even to be smarter appears. you want to be good enough for the society,yourself and the Mr. You want promotions at work plus its already two/three years that you have been out of school. the need to catch the late night news, get a masters, second degree or professional certification or in some case expand your business arises.

• MARRIAGE: so you are in your mid 20s, finally found the guy or you are still single, the pressure to date as finally graduated to the pressure to marry. you either start to feel the need to settle, persuade or drop hints for him to propose or in some cases move on from the guy that isn't. everywhere you go is another newly engaged friend or foe of yours. the aso-ebi keeps rolling in and Bellanaija weddings keep retweeting pictures from pre-wedding shoots. your married friend Desola keeps feeling sorry for you and can't stop talking about how her fiance or husband and how he treats her so good. hahaa...then instagram timeline comes with its everyday love quotes and photos, even that girl that isn't as fine or qualified as you got her own man.

•  WORKOUT: so at this point your weight finally starts to fail you because of the midnight snacking and those chocolates that you take to substitute for love or real happiness. no one is going to date a flabby stomached 20something. the need to hit and stay in the gym arises. The need to keep the stomach in and keep the hips out and work towards being the best kim kardashain or Beyonce you can be arises.

• Weddings: the real reason you dated, learnt more and got a job was for this special day. Kemi had her wedding at oriental, Ifunanya did hers in Dubai and Zainab did hers in the moon, yours can't be nothing less. you just have to go to mars and honeymoon in venus. luckily the Mr has some money and is capable. the pressure to pull off something that beats everyone else own arises, but is there really something like that..is happiness not the true measure of weddings?

• PREGNANCY: Now you finally said I do, it was a day to remember. its 7 months later and the mother-in-law starts hovering around your space and visiting your new home. i need not describe this. Nollywood does a good job of portraying this pressure.

• CATER/PROVIDE: Everything finally falls into place, the need to cater and provide increases. you need to move into a new place, buy a car or change your car, cook before you go out for the spouse daily and do some chores. the twenty something opens the door to the endless need to cater for and provide for yourself, partner and/or child(ren).

• FIND YOURSELF: Your parents, environment and job reminds you constantly during all this process to find yourself, decide if you want to keep your job and for how long, decide if you want to go back to school and when, decide if you want to start a business and how. the constant need to find yourself before you are 30 becomes part of your problems.

Now we’re getting up at 6 am if not earlier to catch the morning news so that we may gather some topics of conversation to resource on the elevator ride into work. We struggle with friendships and relationships and even finances.

you gradually start to find out who your friends really are,and that's if you are lucky. for some we just find friends for moments and wonder who would even be on that bridal train when the wedding comes.

On top of it all, you’re mother’s asking at every chance when she can call her friend's for her own child's wedding. And since “not in this lifetime” isn't an acceptable response, you simply lie and say you’re dating around and haven’t found the right person yet.

And you’re expected to know who you are, what you want in life and exactly how you plan to get it. And absolutely nothing in your life is concrete. Is it even a possible reality? To really have any idea what you are doing?

There are moments of clarity that cross over you and you think you have it all figured out.  You go on a great date, an old friend reaches out to rekindle your friendship, you get the chance to be there for your best friend, you are offered a promotion at work or given a good appraisal, your brother shares a post on instagram saying he loves you. All those moments make it worth while. Until you get snapped out of it again and get back to square one.

I read that the thirty-somethings are the ones having the most fun. And why? Because they chose to give up expectations and take life for what it is. To which I say, you had me at give up.

xo