DAY 6 || WHAT TO BELIEVE

I think like a mudafucker and that's okay 

Without my imaginations I would just be a walking doll with nothing but pure ignorance.

With my imaginations I have travelled through the depth and width of so many places, countries, souls, and even hearts.

And so I love the way I think and imagine

And yes sometimes I'm just too much of an over thinker!

In these past few weeks a lot of thoughts have been flowing in my mind.

A lot of topics, from love, family and to the unavoidable idea of sex.

With sex, I have discovered I need to learn a lot more and understand the idea and concept behind it, I'm such an emotionally cold hearted, the one who loves to fall in love with an almost perfect person, love is important to me, while sex, sex is just for the sake of love, a side attraction, icing on the already beautiful cake if I may use that metaphor again.

however, I have imagined a lot about love the most, the totality of it.

I keep wondering and when I wonder, I wander and when I wander I start to compare and contrast ideas.

Like what if;

Going after what you want in love,

Is just plain being desperate.

Or not letting go,

Is just plain forcing the other person to stay.

What if they never did love you,

But what you felt blinded the whole experience.

Or maybe, 

Right from the very get go,

The other person knew the end.

What if wearing other people's idea of beauty,

Just to please them,

Was giving them a fantasy that they were waiting to meet.

What if they needed you?

But not like you thought they did.

And the "I love yous",

Was a means to an end?

What if you made the perfect girl for their status?

But was never the perfect girl from their dreams.

And Every Time you told him to be more expressive,

You were putting words into his mouth that he never ever meant.

What if his quietness and silence,

Where just daydreams, for when it will all be over.

And you were,

The real stupid girl

With imaginations that sucked.

What if love was truly blind?

And you were the head of the pack.

Or maybe that's just my imagination!

And it was what it was;

He really did like you,

And wanted another chance

He really did care,

And things just fell apart.

He thought you were happy,

Wearing someone else,

So he went with it.

And every time you pushed him,

He was glad you did.

But that's the burden that comes with imaginations

And over thinking;

And crazy enough love!

The unsure nature of it all

Because when it comes to truth and lies

There is just a thin and confusing line,

And you have to decide what you believe.

But since you left all I have felt is the former!

And I keep wondering if once beaten is twice shy!