25 LESSONS TO LEARN BY YOUR 25TH BIRTHDAY

Becoming 18 was a beautiful thing, I could now watch certain movies and drive and even vote, and then came 21 which was so much better because now I could really do everything I wanted to do at 18 without being given a certain look.

Unlike those years being 25 is not as exciting becoming 25 is painful and scary.

It's the age I thought I would be definitely settled into my adult life, possibly married with kids, with a booming business and with a high level of comfort in my life after all aren’t we suppose to dream BIG.

Well hello 25 years old me. Sorry none of that is true. Now you have realized that its not about Dreaming, it’s about planning and it’s about being realistic about those plans.

You are stuck still living at home without a car and still as single as possible.

Being 25 is hard but here are a few things the journey as taught me that I would like to share with you all and possibly a younger version of me.

• It's okay to cry

The problem with being Capricorn is the ability to have it all together and maintain a certain facade but the past few years have taught me what crying can do. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed or exhausted I give in to my emotions and have a good cry. Life so far as taught me that it's okay to be human.

• Do it yourself

A lot of the goals and aspirations that I have achieved has been as a result of just going ahead and doing it myself.

It's amazing how much we DIY a lot of things when it comes to fashion, hair and beauty but we don't remember to apply this same logic to our dreams.

I am one to depend on people to achieve a lot of my dreams but so far being independent and depending on myself to achieve certain goals have been nothing short of perfection.

• Have faith in yourself

To take the absolute next step in your life, you need faith. Faith to go after that job, faith to invest all your cash, faith to love that person, faith that your decisions would be worthwhile and most especially faith in your instincts and in yourself.

You got to always remember that you have been in this very same position of doubt before and you survived and scaled through

• Respect your own journey

Respecting your journey helps you stay true to yourself. You understand where you are and you know where you are coming from. That keeps you grounded and helps you stay not just humble but focused. It's important that in this world where everyone is living a cool life you remember that your life in respect to where you are coming from is pretty cool too.

 

• Give yourself enough credit

How many times have you doubted your survival skills and your strength? How many times have you told yourself you can't have that or achieve that or do that?

Well you better stop now and start giving yourself some credit.

You need to start realizing that nobody but you made it this far.

You have to remember that if you didn't want to you won’t have, so you at least deserve the credit.

• Do not lie to yourself 

It was sometime in 2008/2009 when I met a few people who were so good at telling themselves little lies that I realized that one of the most important thing in life is to be very truthful to oneself.

You can lie to everyone and fake it till you make it but when you are alone in your own little corner in the world tell yourself some damn truth.

Tell yourself your weakness and your strengths and your battles and all the vices you are holding on to that you should have let go of. Even if you don't do all you should be doing, just make sure you know what it is that you should be doing.

• Become yourself

My boyfriend is a very funny person when he was 25 that’s all I heard. I'm 25 now I don't care and it's beautiful how 25 changed him. He styled his hair the way he wanted and introduced me to more people in his life because now he was 25 and he was his own person.

He showed me a vital lesson about being older and being 25. He showed me to find myself, be myself and not apologize for who I was as an adult. He taught me that if that was who I wanted to be then everyone would have to live with it.

• It's a people thing

I'm a very opinionated person and a few years back I would fight or cut ties with anyone whose opinions and way of life were far from mine and I still do this now but not as much because I realized that a lot of all this traits are people thing. 

A lot of the things we all complain about are not peculiar to females or to friends or to colleagues or hairdressers or fashion people, all this traits are people traits and since you can't fight with everyone, you have got to know who you are, stand for what you believe in and respect others people’s opinions and live with them as best as you can.

After all there is nothing you can do about those behaviors because that is how people are.

• Sign a contract

This would never have entered this list if not that I'm struggling with a certain job contract right now. My 20 something years so far has been about finding myself and exploring. Before I went ahead to take an 8 to 5 job, I did every possible job that I could find around my hobby, I worked as a stylist, production assistant, costume designer and every other possible title in fashion but because I didn't have prior knowledge about what I should get paid, I just expected whatever I thought would be okay. Problem is I didn't even sign a contract prior to a lot of the work and that led to being cheated a lot. I survived it but I wish I signed a contract with a lot of those people I worked with and for.

Our 20 something years is the perfect time to become an adult and handle everything formally and professionally, so even if it’s just a business with your best friend, sign a contract and be realistic about the structure.

• Be Realistic and Give yourself time

This year I had ruled out so many goals and if you check my 24 before 25 lists you would see I haven’t done so much so far but still I feel good about it because I have realized that perfection can’t be rushed.

The problem with the 20 something years is that the years before were the dreaming years and somewhere along the way we all became more critical and we became adults.

With our goals there is need to be realistic in the sense that to achieve a dream you might have to take a job to first raise capital and then build relationships to find the most affordable labour and all this takes time.

You need to give yourself time to achieve a lot of your goals, I’m not saying Lazy about or wait for someone else to help you out. All I’m saying is put a realistic time frame in front of all your goals.

• Set your own standards

The world’s standards can be so extreme, so vast and so crowded so the more you become your own person the more there is need to set your own standards. Your own standards of what is right, what is wrong, what is short, what is too revealing, what is vulgar, what is beautiful and so many other standards.

These standards would shape who you grow to be, the world and friends around you and your future as it is.

• Stay away from People who do not HELP or ENCOURAGE you

In life, especially in my life, so many friends have come and gone and I’m fine with that because at the end of the day all you need is yourself. The lesson that I have come to embrace is how to stay far away from those who do not listen or encourage my dreams, those who would back out last minute when I will never do such to them. The importance of a support system cannot be over stretched so when choosing yours make sure they are actually supporting you.

• Breathe you aren't always yourself's best critic

Earlier this year I realized that everyone except myself thought I had one of the best smiles they had seen and that my smile brought life into a space; their words not mine.

I always hated my smile, I thought it made me look so unfine but no one else thought that. At that very point, I discovered the power of second opinions and I also realized that we aren’t always our own best critic as we are either too critical or too lenient.

• Loyalty pays

In a world like ours where Best friends bring themselves to the Jerry Springer show because they are sleeping with each other’s boyfriends or having babies for each other’s baby daddies, Loyalty can seem a bit farfetched; those who have it get convinced that they are being foolish and those who you are loyal to can’t even reciprocate.

However there is nothing more important than choosing the side you belong to and the people you are loyal to because when it comes down to you, you want people to be loyal to you as well.

Also there is always someone standing outside of your circle that can see that you are loyal and would pay anything to have you on their own team.

• Your Mother can seem Annoying but she is always right

I wanted to start by saying the relationship between mothers and daughters can be a bit stifling from the late teen till the late 20s but I have seen my mum and brother argue so I know it’s not peculiar to females.

I have said it so many times when i'm refused something by my mum since I was say 15 how annoying my mom can be but recently I finally figured it out, my mum seems annoying to me because she communicates with emotions ; with so much love for me. She sees me making a mistake and instead of choosing to sweet talk it or be a friend she chooses to use emotions to communicate instead, grounding or laying laws down to avoid it from occurring or recurring.

The problem however is that our 20 something years are the years in which we explore and choose to soar so to us our wings are being held down so we want to break loose.

So far I can tell you that 99.9 % of the time your mother is right the remaining 0.01% when she is wrong is because the world is evolving.

Take heed to her advice.

• Save

In the career segment I’m starting next year, I would be covering tips on how I turn zero to hundreds and to eventually thousands and hopefully millions.

If you are like me and you aren’t privileged, you have to learn how to bend yourself, be disciplined and save.

There is no two ways about making wealth except through saving even if you are making money illegally.

So discipline yourself, close your eyes and save for your future

• Spend, invest and splurge

The need to spend and splurge on yourself can never be over analyzed yes you have to have a good savings plan but you have to also make sure you have a way you relax and you have to make sure you spend on yourself.

This year I have had solo cinema nights, solo desserts snacking, solo cocktails and shopped on thing I craved for.

My own way of splurging is always on food and fashion and those are my loves.

Whether it’s on a book you love or a game or on a camera. Spoil yourself and get it. After all that is the real reason why we hustle.

• Do not settle

This would seem like a relationship advice but look at it more as a life advice as what it really is, is a career advice. Do not settle for anything less than extraordinary. I have spent the past two years complaining about my job and how crazy it is but it’s because I settled for stability instead of my dreams. This is important as one matures to make smart decisions but it’s also important to realize that you can’t change how you feel about something, if you aren’t feeling at least 70% positive and excited about a decision avoid it instead of just settling.

• Forget your Vices

Everyone as a vice whether you like it or not and nowadays a lot of people smoke, drink, partake in sexual acts, wear makeup as a tool of self-esteem, the list is endless. The more you approach your late 20s the more there is need to get rid and grow apart from your vice. Detach yourself from anything that you are too dependent on so as to live a more progressive life. Our vices can hold us back and keep up amongst the worse companies. You may not have to totally forget it depending on what it is, but you might need to reduce it.

• Learn to spend time with yourself

I’m a bit very jumpy and I hate being idle but this is the most important habit I grew into. I learnt to become my own best friend and listen to the voice in my head. I know how to take a walk walking through all my thoughts and goals and checking them off in my list and I learnt how to spend time in my space just watching a movie and feeling myself.

Your inability to know yourself leads to nothing but absolute destruction as you just spend your right times at wrong places with the wrong minds following the band wagon.

• On Love

Do not search for it, it will come. When it comes, be open to it, trust your instincts and enjoy every tiny bit of it. Forget the heartbreak and move on.

• On Life

Do not compare yourself with others. Wallow in the happy times, forget the sad times. When those depressing moment come remember it will pass. Trials and temptations are very vital parts of life so don’t sweat it.

• On Health

Exercise, eat good food, and be more conscious about your hygiene, the 20 something years come with a lot of health hazards so live as decently as you can. When you feel stressed slow down. When you feel down, shut down the stress.

• On Sex

Be careful and be discipline about who you choose to share your body with, be religious if you can be.

Be certain your partner is as discipline as you can. Be careful and whatever you do make sure to always be safe.

• On God

He works through people, through is word and through random encounters. Acknowledge him, know him, become a friend to him, rely on him and remember that there is absolutely nothing he cannot do.